sunday

today was alright..quiet simple

i feel kinda relaxed

just a bit melancholly about som stuff

but its all good

put a smile on your face:]

goodness.. yesterday i had such a bad day but today is just so much better!

i got to gather my thoughts and just rest and it really did help!!

well im better!!

and kinda bored!

over my head

i dont know whats wrong...i dont know how i feel...

i dont wanna talk about it..i  feel lost and scared like i cant beathe!

i dont feel like i belong here and i feel like im gonna exsplode!

i dont know...

i wish everything was back to normal...my life feels like its squishing me 

and i cant get out

everythings gotten so much hard and i feel really nervouse all the time and like no one cares anymore and im trapped...i want too scream half the time..

everythings happening so fast

i dont know what to do anymore...i feel like im going around in circles and people are watching me threw a glass wall ..and i need to put on a show for them..what happened? i felt like my life was finally comeing back together...and then...it died again and everythings messed up 

im not depressed...im just scared

 

chicken fried

i was listening to this song called Chicken Fried by Zac Brown and it just really reminded me of how much i really miss illinois. the long summers and the butt frezzeing winters...staying out till the street lights go on and in Normal it was diffrent..there wasnt all this stress put down on me..sure i have made a TON of friends here but i miss not argueing about little things no offense but...California people are kinda angrey! they nerver look on the bright side of things there always so negative...i miss driveing threw corn feilds and haveing only 2 malls haha i miss haveing ice 5 inches thick on the streets and haveing school close because its -29 degress! i miss not careing if i had desighner jeans or fancy earings.. i liked haveing one public pool that EVERYONE went to and playing down at the park with all your friends. getting too go out with out a cell phone or your mother worrying that someone would kid nape you! i miss going to school and haveing a locker!!! its nice here but its just not the same..ill get used too liveing here but ill always remember how much more fun a small town was!

saddness

im sad..liza mad it to BYU.. i should be happy for her...but im not...i dont want her to leave!